Dharma, ikigai, and purpose

Dharma is the path or the universal laws of nature—in Buddhist teaching, dharma means acting in your “own way” and doing what is true of yourself.

Ikigai is the Japanese word for purpose or “your reason for being.”

Dharma and ikigai are components of what Joseph Campbell referred to in the “hero’s journey” in which we must adventure through the highs and lows in life to find our purpose and ultimately transform ourselves.

From my own experience and experience working with others in finding their “Why,” it is a question that many of us have never had the time to truly explore (“Purpose?! Passion?! Go to school, get good job, marry—that is purpose!”).

“Who am I?” is one of the most difficult yet powerful questions we can ask ourselves but one that usually is not explored until our later years in life…but who is to say we cannot ask that question when we are 8? 15? 21?

The answer may and will change over time, but I would argue asking that question is more beneficial than the questions that dominate society today—Who are the Kardashians dating now?

If you ask the question of who you are over and over again, I can certainly bet you that it will yield more benefits to your overall life satisfaction in the long run rather than fixating on who Kim Kardashian is now dating.

So…who are YOU?

Home again

It feels good to be home again. To be in my own bed. The fresh scent of ocean breeze that smells like nostalgia. And the space. THE SPACE.

It feels good to have space again. Yes—while there are many differences between Europe and the US—space is a huge difference. Unless you’re in New York city, space is a luxury to Americans that most people don’t appreciate until they leave.

In Amsterdam, I felt trapped. Especially with COVID. But even before COVID, I still felt trapped. There’s only so far you can go with a bike…but driving in your own car truly feels like “getting away.”

I went on a hike the other day with Diana to the Redwoods and besides the traffic, it was a therapeutic escape. While you can go hiking in the Netherlands, it’s just not the same.

While I am home again, it is not the same home of the past. As friends drift towards their own lives—family lives—and as my parents get older, I can’t help but think, “Where is home?”

Home feels like the limbo. A tug of war between the US, Europe, and Asia. The host of the party who hops around from group to group to make sure everyone is doing OK yet never actually becomes part of any group. Home feels here yet so far away…

Meaningful work, happy life

1/3rd of your life will be spent at work. That’s 90,000 hours—or 1/2 of your walking hours.

Are you enjoying it?

I hope you are (or you will).

When you look back on your life now and in the future, what would make good life? An amazing life?

Friends, family, and loved ones usually come out on top. Meaningful work usually tops the list as well. When you have purpose (or what the Japanese call “ikigai”), studies show that life satisfaction increases, your resilience levels increase, and you actually live longer and happier.

So…what does meaningful work mean to you? Are you doing any of it now? How can you do more of it?

Your measure of life is how you respond it

“It's not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters.” - Epictetus

They say life is simple. Life happens for you—not to you. How you react to life determines the quality of your life.

Some times it takes a reminder from a dead, thousands year old philosopher to put things in perspective. Viktor Frankl famously said “in our response lies our growth and our freedom.” Even in the trenches of the Holocaust, it was how Viktor responded (hope vs. despair) that helped him survive.

What are the things we can control? And cannot control? Focus on the things we can control and learn to respond vs. react to the things that are out of our control.

How we respond to life is how our life will be measured.